


Fighting Against Nature Itself

by Sourwolf (lucid_lies)



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Asexual Sherlock, Drabble, Established Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Feels, M/M, Out of Character - probably, Sherlock Holmes on the Asexuality Spectrum, Wangst, flangst, myhandsshouldbecutoffandIshouldneverwriteagain, pullinganallnighterandthentryingtowrite
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-18
Updated: 2013-06-18
Packaged: 2017-12-15 09:14:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/847824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucid_lies/pseuds/Sourwolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock tries for John.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fighting Against Nature Itself

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Борьба против самой природы](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10409331) by [opennessoff](https://archiveofourown.org/users/opennessoff/pseuds/opennessoff)



> Being asexual myself, I have found that it can be difficult in forming romantic relationships with a person that is not asexual. There are a lot of adjustments to be made in order for the relationship to work out. It's not impossible, just...difficult at times. Some asexual people can get sexually aroused and all sorts of other stuff, however, when I was writing this (at 6 in the morning after an all nighter) I was of the mindset that Sherlock would be an asexual person that does NOT experience arousal. Anyway...uhm, here you are. My first forays into the wonderful world of Sherlock fanfiction. If it can even be called that. Uh, s'not very good. And it's very short. With a crappy title. My deepest apologies. I might come back and edit it...Or add more. Who knows. Dunno what else to say...enjoy?

* * *

 

Sherlock tries for John.

He really does and that is saying something because Sherlock has never in his life **tried** to make someone happy, give them what they want. He has always done what he wants with no thought of consequence to others. They did not matter and so he did not give them a second thought. But John...John matters. John is different. He makes Sherlock want to be a better man, putting other's desires and needs above his own.

He knows it is illogical to be apprehensive of acts such as physical intimacy. However, knowing something and accepting it are two completely different things. Sherlock cannot help it. He tries so hard over and over but in the end, it is not enough. He is incapable of overcoming his worst enemy: himself. He cannot give John what he wants. It is moments like this that Sherlock truly hates himself.

John wants more. Sherlock is content with what they have. Happy one might even say. Though in the back of his mind, he knows their relationship is not what _normal_ people typically have. And John is not like him. He does not function like Sherlock. He wants things that Sherlock never even entertained ideas of.

He tries so hard to fight himself and his nature, just to see John smile.

He never wins.


End file.
